Grumpville

I’ve taken up residence in grumpville today.  I don’t really know why.  Well, maybe I do if I ‘fess up. 

• I’m pretty much bored with my clothes.  I would like to wear something else tomorrow.  But I won’t.  I will put on brown tomorrow, just like I did today and the day before that.
  
• I still don’t like to do laundry, and we had a half-hearted conversation about a “laundry system” at the dinner table.  It wasn’t really that fun.  Actually, it wasn’t fun at all.
  
• Our kids aren’t really grooving on the upcoming “possessions” month, though we still have a lot to talk about before we even know exactly how we’ll do it.

So, on the one hand, the clothing month hasn’t been that hard from a “just do it” standpoint.  It’s been way easier than the food month.  But, it’s becoming more difficult because, honestly, I just have a bad attitude that been building about my clothes.  I think it is a boredom-born-of-privilege thing.  And I need to be rid of it.

I don’t think I’ve grasped how much choice and variety, color and texture, style and shape are just an assumed part of my wardrobe, and ultimately my presentation of myself to the world.  I will never light the fashion world on fire with my snazzy dressing, but I have many choices to suit the mood du jour or the event.  But tonight, I’m dismayed at how much a sense of entitlement has seeped into my inner being.  We’ve worked really hard with our kids to avoid the entitlement-itis that pervades our high-achieving suburban existence.  Some days I look and think we’ve done well by them, but then I look at my own stinky mood today, and I realize that I should be working on the same entitlement issue myself.

I think back to Tasha and her early days in the orphanage.  She did not own a piece of clothing to her name.  Clothes were communal to her group.  They didn’t necessarily match, and they weren’t necessarily fresh and clean every day.  But she was kept warm and dry, and I never once thought, “Oh that poor dear, wearing the same smelly baby clothes every day.”  It was just the way it was.  No judgment.  It was enough, and there were so many much bigger issues to confront than what she wore every day.  I really need to apply the same thought to myself – honestly and with no self-pity. 

Pray with me, if you would.

Lord, forgive me for my attitude of entitlement and self-pity.  Help me to appreciate, deeply appreciate, the things I am privileged to have.  Focus my mind and heart on the important things, and let the unimportant, temporary trappings fall away.